Thursday, November 13, 2014

Enjoying the Moment

You know, not two minutes after we shared our news about Karsten, people were already asking us "are y'all done now?"  And honestly, that answer depends on if you ask me or if you ask Kevin!  I've always said I wanted 3 kids and Kevin has always said 2.  After only having two kids for about 5 weeks, I have to say that Kevin will probably win on that one.  However, in the world of kids (even when you adopt), I've learned to never say any decision is final. You end up changing your mind on SO many things when it comes to kids, it's not even funny.

"Our kids will NEVER watch TV"
.... and then 3 years later you can sing the theme song to every show on Disney Junior by heart.
(** In our defense, we never said Kate wouldn't watch TV, but we did say we want to limit her screen time- and we do to an extent, but she does love her Disney Jr.)

"We will NOT have a picky eater. Our kids will eat whatever we're eating and be happy about it."
... and then you find yourself fixing PB&J sandwiches while the rest of the family eats the grown up meal, because your child will not eat any kind of pasta and you don't want them waking up in the middle of the night hungry.

"My kid will only eat all-organic foods and I will make everything from scratch.  Forget red dye #40 - she will never have that."
... and the next thing you know, you're calling fruit roll-ups (red, of course) and nacho cheese Doritos a healthy lunch, because you figure it hits up 3 of the 5 major food groups - fruit (fruit roll-ups), dairy (cheese Doritos), and grain (those Doritos are doing double-duty). Throw in some V8 to cover the vegetables and you can pat yourself on the back.
(** Also note, we never claimed Kate would only eat organic food, though I did make most of her baby foods.)

Yeah.  You definitely change your mind on some things when it comes to kids.  So, no.  I'm not saying that we will NEVER have a third kid, but I am saying that most likely Karsten will be our last child. We have no firm plans to adopt again.  We're only 5 weeks into being a family of four, but it is a pretty good number for us.  And since Karsten may (or may not) be our last child, I find myself savoring some of these baby moments a little more.

I'm trying not to rush things.

With Kate, Kevin and I were both in such a hurry for her to reach each of her baby milestones.  When will she start teething? When will she stand?  Crawl?  Walk?  Talk?  Hurry up!!

With Karsten, I find myself wondering "Is this the last time she'll wake up forty times in a single night?"  "Is this the last time she'll only drink 2 oz of formula?"  "Is this the last time she can wear this outfit before I have to put it up?"

Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna be thrilled when she starts sleeping through the night, but each milestone that she reaches will be a FIRST for Karsten and a possible LAST for Kevin and me.  The last time we see our kid smile for the first time.  The last time we get to give our baby her first bath, and on and on it goes.  Karsten has already started rolling over and while it was exciting to watch, it was also a little sad. I found myself thinking "No. That's not supposed to happen yet!"  I'm sure I'll have those same mixed feelings at every milestone Karsten reaches.

I'm going to probably hold her a little bit longer than necessary, rock her a little more than she needs, and maybe even push her down a few times when she first starts to stand up. :) Just kidding. I don't want to hold her back in any way, and I'll be proud when she hits all of those "firsts", just like I was proud with Kate.  I'll be her biggest cheerleader and will give her lots of hugs and kisses and encouragement along the way.  I'll be thrilled each time she takes another step forward with independence and will be so excited when she experiences a new first.

But I may be just a little bit sad too.  Because while it's one of her firsts, it might just be one of my lasts.


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