Sunday, April 8, 2018

Open Adoption Update

I get emails from people weekly about adoption and/or what open adoptions really look like.  In fact, just this week I have received 2 emails and a phone call to discuss adoption and openness with them. So, I thought I'd do a little update but also share what our last visit looked like. It was different than any visit we have had in the past because we were able to get BOTH of our girls birth families together.  Kate and Karsten's birth mothers were able to meet for the very first time, which was a huge blessing and I am so excited that we were all able to make this happen! 

So let me back up a minute.  The term "open adoption" is really hard to define.  It obviously involves SOME level of openness between the birth family and adoptive family, but the degree of openness can vary hugely. 

  • It could mean that you exchange pictures back and forth, using an agency or some other 3rd party to deliver them. 
  • It could mean that both families have anonymous email addresses and you correspond back and forth with each other. 
  • It could mean that you exchange phone numbers and call or text back an forth. 
  • It could mean that you are Facebook or Instagram friends. 
  • It could mean you see each other in person regularly. 
  • It could mean that you go to church together, go out to eat afterward, and then go back to your house to let the kids play. 
Openness can mean a lot of different things.  Our level of openness is all of the above.  A few Sundays back, we did the last one on this list.  Kate's birth mom (Lori) was in town with her husband and daughter for an event, and so on Sunday they came to our church.  Karsten's birth mom (Andrea) is pretty local, so she brought her kids over for church also.  We all went to eat at a local pizza restaurant and then afterward, we went back to our house to let the kids all run around and play. 

This is Kate with her baby sister.  See the resemblance?  Crazy, huh!? 

And here is our whole group.  We're family.  Two birth moms, six kids that are all brothers and sisters in one way or another, and then Kevin and me, who are so grateful and thankful that this is the family God created for us. 

Kevin and I will always be so thankful that these two strong, brave women chose to place their baby in our arms. 

Most people look at adoption as a Plan B of sorts.  I'll admit, we likely wouldn't have gone down this path if infertility hadn't been part of our story. But it was. And I've said this before, but looking back I actually view infertility as a blessing because without it, these two little girls wouldn't be who calls me Mama. So to me, adoption wasn't Plan B for our family.  It was Plan A all along, and we just didn't know it. Adoption is, and was, God's best for us.  It's further proof that God can use your brokenness to make something beautiful. 


  1. I love this! Open adoption has been such a blessing for our family as well.

  2. I love this. We too have an open adoption with our 3 kids' birth families. We too consider us one big family! Very lucky girls and parents!

    1. Yes - we are thankful! So fun that you get to experience it too!

  3. Open adoption is truly something special! We always say, "There is no such thing as having too many people to love you!"


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