Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Karsten's Love Language

** Note - Amazon Affiliate links are used at the bottom of this post.

A few years ago, I wrote a post about Kate's love language. The premise of a "love language" comes from Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages, which makes the argument that we all show love in one of five ways:
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Acts of Service
Essentially, your default is to SHOW love to other people in the way that you most feel valued. The book does a better job of explaining it but it is SO interesting.  Whether the relationship is with a spouse, a child, or just a friend, knowing how the other person feels valued can help you express your love or thankfulness to them.  With Kate, I recognized pretty early on that her love language was Gifts.  She would often (and still does) express her love for you by giving you small gifts or trinkets. She picks flowers, or draws pictures, or makes a craft and will give it to you to show you how much she loves you. Because of this, she feels most loved/valued when I give her gifts too (but seriously, who doesn't love a good gift). It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive though. Just giving her $2 to get a Kona Ice at school because she was a good friend to someone is a MAJOR motivator to her.

Karsten has been a little harder to figure out but lately I've come to realize that her love language is Words of Affirmation.  She is not stingy with her compliments at all! She will constantly tell me:

"Mommy you're beautiful!"
"Mommy I love you!"
"Mommy I like to cuddle with you!"
"Mommy this dinner is delicious!"
"Mommy you're so good at _______!

I have to say, I like her love language a lot too. :) Come to think of it, I may just love all of them. Ha!

Now that I realize how Karsten feels loved, it's made me realize things that I may do or say and how her eyes light up a little more or how her smile gets a little bigger. A simple compliment goes a long way. A "thank you" goes a mile. A "great job!" gets a humongous smile. And wow, when we pray with the girls at night and thank God specifically for each one, you can tell it makes her day.

So if you haven't read Gary Chapman's book on Love Languages, I highly suggest it again! I'll link below the regular edition (which is what I have read) and also an edition for knowing/understanding the five love languages in children (which I haven't read).


Meanwhile, I'll just soak up all of Karsten's sweet compliments and keep them close to my heart so I'll remember them during the teenage years!


  1. I'm reading the 5 Love Languages of Kids right now! Great book!

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