Sunday, June 1, 2014

Adoption Update- 9 Months In

It's been a while since I did an official update on our adoption, and since we started the journey 9 months ago (last July/August), I figured now would be a good time for an update!  This has been a whirlwind week, with lots of ups and downs, so it is an especially good time for an update. (Sorry, no pictures!)

Although we started this journey 9 months ago, we have only been "officially" waiting since February.  In the grand scheme of things, 3 months of waiting is not all that long, and we really anticipate having to wait quite a while longer.  For one, whether this is the case or not, it just seems like wait times are longer now.  But also, we have been told that birth families tend to choose families who do not have children over those that already do have children.  So we've been told that on average, families who already have children tend to wait longer than families that don't have children. 

Over the past 3 months, we have been notified of various potential birth family situations through recruitment emails that our agency sends out.  We have said yes to a fair amount of them, and have also said no to a few that we felt would not be something we are comfortable with at this point.  For those who don't know how the process works, all families in SC are sent the recruitment emails, and if you would like to be considered for that baby, you respond "yes".  Then the birth family looks over the profiles of all of the families that have said yes and they then select a family.  Though we have said yes to many emails, we have not yet been selected, and we are okay with that.  We know that God's timing is perfect!  

When I say this week has been a whirlwind, it really has!  Last Thursday (before Memorial day) we received a recruitment email and were asked to respond VERY quickly.  We were told that the birth mom was due at the end of May, which was just a week away.  We read through the situation, prayed about it, and both Kevin and I felt that this was a definite "yes" response.  On Friday, we received an email stating that 13 families had responded and that the birth family would be choosing a family to parent this child shortly.  Now, 1 in 13 is still just a 7% chance, but it is still exciting.  This is why I don't like the recruitment emails!  I hate the knowing.  It gets my hopes up too much.  I would rather just be in the dark the whole time and then be excited when we are selected.  Knowing stresses me out!

This Tuesday (the day after Memorial Day), we found out that we had not been selected.  We didn't really have time to be disappointed, because this week has been so crazy busy.  We had church on Wednesday night and stayed late talking to friends.  Then on Thursday Kate had ballet pictures and we met my parents, Kristi, Davis, and his family downtown at Wild Wings for dinner.  Friday was Kristi's rehearsal dinner, and on Saturday my little sister got married! Like I said - crazy, busy week!

Later on in the week, we found out that SIX families in SC had been placed with babies in the past few weeks.  We also found out that one of those six families are friends from my home town that we have been specifically praying for for more than a year!  They welcomed their little girl into their family on Tuesday and we couldn't be happier for them!  

I would have thought that I would be at least somewhat disappointed that we weren't one of the SIX families that had been selected over the past few weeks, but I am really not.  I'm genuinely happy for the families that WERE selected.  I know our time will come eventually.  I was thinking the other day about how we can look back at a situation or a process after everything is completed, and see clearly how God was at work through the whole thing.  Hindsight is 20-20, right?

It is so much harder to see how God is at work while you're in the middle of everything.  

I know that once our Adoption #2 story is complete, we'll be able to look back at the entire journey and say "Ohhh, this didn't happen because God wanted us to go through this" or "Ahhh, so that's why this had to happen".  Kate's story is that way.  There were so many piece of her story that can only be explained by saying that "it was a God thing" and I know that our next child's story will be written the same way. 

So that's where we are- still waiting.  The same place that we were on the last update.  We may get an exciting call tomorrow, or I may be writing the same update a year from now, but God is still working so we'll just have to be patient and see how everything comes together!

8 comments:

  1. Prayers for all of you as you continue through this journey

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  2. We are in the exact same place as you....only this is our first adoption and we have officially been waiting since last September. At times I do get discouraged because of the wait, but just like you mentioned.....God's timing is perfect! Thanks for your positive updates!!

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  3. We are just a few months ahead of you in the waiting for baby #2 (1 year in). I, too, am looking forward to seeing how God brings our story together.

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  4. I love reading your blog. I am blessed with three new born adoptions ( they are now 5, 3 and 6 months) and also I adopted my step son who I have had since age 3 (he is now 9). I am still amazed that I now have 4 children (plus a bio daughter who is now 22) It took 17 long years of prayers before our first adoption. A lot of tears in that time. But know I see, just like you said, God's timing is perfect. I was meant to be these little ones mommy. No other baby would of done. I see now that God heard my cry and my prayers. I just had to wait on His timing. Praying for you and YOUR baby

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  5. Have you considered doing foster to adopt program for babies? Many of those babes don't have families waiting for them, the babies are instead the ones waiting

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  6. Your patience, judgment, and determination will truly be tested once you sail on this journey. And that is fine, as those are the same virtues that will most likely be tested when you become a parent – adoptive or not.

    Dean Glover @ Adoption Network

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  7. I don't know how I stumbled onto your blog, but I just wanted to say thank you for keeping up with it and sharing your story. My husband and I will hopefully hear this week or next if we are "officially waiting" through our agency, which then starts the clock on the average wait time they told us (15 months). We of course know that an average is an average, it could be sooner or much longer. We trust God with the timing and I love how you said that it's so much harder to see how God is at work while you're in the middle of everything. So true! For us, infertility has been a blessing that led us to adoption (adoption was never something we would have considered before). We still hope that God may allow us to have biological children too someday, but we now plan to adopt at least once as another way of growing our family. God is so amazing in how He changes hearts! I hope and pray your second adoption story unfolds smoothly, and I look forward to following you through your blog. :)

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  8. Adoption is really a matter of waiting. But that can be difficult, especially when you know that 6 families already have their little bundle of joy with them. But in my opinion, everything has its proper time. It may not have been now for you, but that day will surely come and your soon-to-be-baby will complete your family. Stay strong!

    Sandra Walker @ Eric Risk

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